


New Phone, Who Dis?

by innersanctuaries



Series: NaNoWriMo Short Fics [23]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, M/M, ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 01:48:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12830757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innersanctuaries/pseuds/innersanctuaries
Summary: ON HIATUS UNTIL FUTHER NOTICECan't anyone take a damn vacation without an amnesiac being handed off to them around here?ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST GOT TO THE 50,000 WORD GOAL FOR NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH!!! 
> 
> I thought this year would be a lot more difficult because, y'know. College is a little bitch and so am I when it comes to writing consistently.
> 
> But! I'm super hyped to go above the 50k word goal! I'd love to see if I could get to 60k or so words, that'd be cool. 
> 
> About the fic, I saw a post in a group I'm in with a line someone could use in a fic with an amnesiac. The line is a thing of beauty, so of course, I have to write a full-blown fic entirely for this ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE. C'est la vie. 
> 
> I'm going to try and have this done by the end of NaNoWriMo, hopefully that all works out. Sorry that this chapter is short, kind of like with the first chapter of Fix Me, I started at around 11pm and can only do so much before my brain just stops. The next update will be longer, cross my heart and hope to die!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this! Song inspo is Soul Meets Body by Death Cab For Cutie.
> 
> (https://youtu.be/Yr6mVfl_klE)

“Sorry to call like this, but I had your phone number in my pocket for some reason and I need your help.”

 

 Sam hadn’t expected his night to start off with a drive down to the sheriff’s office, not this late at night. He’d just gotten out of work for the second time today. The perks of having two jobs: at least you got to go home for a while between shifts. 

 

 He’d wanted to go home and watch whatever was on TV at the moment, have a shitty microwave dinner, and go right the fuck to sleep. For the first time in ages, he finally had a few days off for the Christmas season. After the few years he’d worked at the shitty coffee shop and the even shittier bar, he’d thrown caution to the wind and taken the precious few vacation days he had saved up. Tomorrow, he was hopping on a plane to Italy and spending the week there.

 

 There was just one tiny little speedbump. Instead of getting to focus on his trip, he was driving down to the station to pick up a complete stranger for assaulting an officer. Lovely.

 

 It was a good sized town, but he was friendly enough to know most of the people there. The coffee shop he worked at delivered, and everyone knew how much the sheriff loved her coffee. They had gone so far as to give him a designated parking space, sign and all. 

 

_ “Space Reserved For Sam Winchester” _

 

   This was the second time he’d been there today, and while he enjoyed being there, he still would have rather been in bed. The bell on the door jingled as he pushed it open, prompting the sheriff to look up from her gossip magazine. It was her guilty pleasure, though Sam was the only one who dared tease her about it. 

 

“Hey, Sam! What are you doing here at this time?”

 

 “Just dropping in to ask you if there’s any news on the Kardashians,” He winked, dodging the pen she threw at him halfway through his sentence. “Nah, I’m here about a guy that called me? I heard he’s in the back because he assaulted an officer.”

 

“Oh, the obnoxious blonde?”

 

 “I’d say honey brown, but blonde works too.”

 

“Alright, let me take you to him. Donna brought him in earlier after he shoved Doug off of him. Poor Doug got a bump on the head and claimed assault. But if you ask me, the guy needs a trip to the hospital and some sleep.”

 

 “Who, Gabriel?”

 

“Is that his name? He keeps telling us he doesn’t know anything about himself.”

 

 “That’s weird, he knew a hell of a lot about himself yesterday.”

 

“So you do know him?” 

 “Kinda,” Sam said sheepishly, ducking his head to avoid her gaze. “He came into the coffee shop in the morning and asked for my number. I told him that if I saw him again I’d give it to him. He showed up at the bar later on, so I made good on my promise and gave him my number.”

 

“Aren’t you a piece of work?” Jody snorted. She gestured toward the back. “Let’s go see your boyfriend.”

 

 “He’s not my-” 

 

“Hey, is that Sam?”

 

A familiar voice called out from down the hall. His mind went right back to the flirty businessman, that black suit that fit him just right and made his eyes glint in the sunlight. 

“Yeah, pipsqueak. It’s Sam.” 

 

“Don’t call me pipsqueak!” 

 

“Whatever you say, pipsqueak,” Jody snickered. Turning to face Sam, she dropped the keys in his hand and started walking back to the front. “Let him out if you don’t think he’s too nutty. I’m pretty sure you could take him if you had to, though.” 

 

“I heard that, you know!” 

 

 With that, Sam was alone. Well, alone with Gabriel. Since he’d walked in, Sam hadn’t been able to get a good look at Gabriel, but now that he had, it was really difficult not to freak out.

 

 The fact that nobody had bothered to take him to a hospital was infuriating and kind of horrifying. Gabriel was sprawled out on the bed, either too tired or in too much pain to get up and look at Sam. His clothes were bloody and absolutely shredded, looking almost like he’d had an awful encounter with a hungry tiger or lion. Or maybe Dean, he was pretty nasty when he was hungry.

 

 Joking aside, while his clothes looked bad, his body looked worse. It looked like he’d hit his head, and from what he could see, the bump on his head was bleeding. Besides that, he was bruised, scratched, and all around banged up when it came to the rest of him. Gabriel was clutching his arm to his chest, face contorted in pain.

 

 “Holy shit, are you okay?” Sam ran over to open the door, fumbling with the keys. 

 

“It’s the third one on the left, it’s brass and has a weird shape,” Gabriel rasped. God, even his voice sounded terrible. “As for me, I don’t think I am. You said my name’s Gabriel?” 

 

 The door swung open, prompting Sam to run in, immediately checking Gabriel for broken bones or any other serious injuries. That arm would need to be checked out for sure, but other than that he only needed his cuts to be disinfected.

 

 “Yeah, Gabriel. That’s your name, right? That’s what you told me yesterday, at least.”

 

“I know you?”

 

 Yep. This guy needed a hospital, right now.

 

 “Jody! I need you to help me get him into my car!” Sam yelled down the hall, grabbing his phone for the flashlight. “You’re not gonna like this very much, buddy.”

 

 He was one hundred percent right on that one. It was almost comical, the way Gabriel squawked at having the bright-ass light shined in his eyes. Nevertheless, he proved Jody right. Sam really could take this pipsqueak, and he could easily pin him down while he checked for a concussion  _ (all while being careful not to hurt his arm, of course). _

 

 Fortunately for them, Gabriel didn’t seem to have one. Jody came running in as Sam let him go, the smaller man cursing up a storm.

 

“Get the fuck off me! What the hell do you think you’re doing, sasquatch? You’re heavy as hell, so stay off me!” 

 

 “Good to know you at least remember how to talk.” Sam said flatly.

 

“I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.” Jody said, sighing. 

 

 “Can you tell me why the hell you guys didn’t take him to a hospital first? I think his arm is broken and I’m pretty sure he has an issue with his memory right now.”

 

“Ya don’t say?” Gabriel drawled as Sam helped him up. “I don’t even know where I am. The only reason I know your name is because it was above the number in my pocket. You’re hot as hell, so I’m guessing my drop-dead gorgeous ass got it from you?”

 

 “If you don’t stop being annoying, I will drop you and make sure you’re dead.”

 

“Yikes, that’s cold.”

 

 Rolling his eyes, Sam shot Jody his best puppy eyes. “Help me take him to the hospital?”

 

“Sorry kid, he’s all yours,” She patted his shoulder and mussed up his hair. “I will help you take him out to the car, though.” 

 Gabriel was stumbling around like a drunk person, and based on the way he was limping, he’d definitely hurt his leg or foot or  _ something.  _ Sam was a barista, not a doctor.

 

 The only thing that kept them from getting to the car quickly was how goddamn uncooperative Gabriel was. No matter how hard they tried to get him to understand that he shouldn’t be walking on his own, he refused to believe it and would try doing it himself. Which, of course, always ended in Sam having to grab him before his face got acquainted with the carpet. 

 

 “You know what? We’re not doing this anymore. Stand up.”

 

 Frowning, Gabriel pushed himself up with his good arm, wincing at whatever the hell was going on with his legs. “Don’t tell me what to d- PUT ME DOWN!”

 

 Sam was done, he’d had enough. The moment Gabriel had gotten up, he’d scooped him up bridal style and walked him over the threshold to his car. 

 

 “Shut up and deal with it,” He snapped, unlocking the door and throwing him as gently as possible into the front seat. Cutting Gabriel off by slamming the door in his face was a lot more satisfying than it should have been. “Hey Jody, thanks for the help. If you get any news on who the hell this guy is, call me.”

 

“Will do, Sam. Good luck with him, stay safe!” 

 

 Nodding and waving goodbye, he hopped in the car to be greeted by an angry midget. 

“Listen, just give me my wallet and I’ll take myself to the hospital.”

 

 “Sure, I’ll let you limp fifteen miles in the dark when you don’t even know your own name. Sounds like a  _ great  _ idea,” Turning on the car, he backed out of his spot and was off, on his way to the hospital. “Plus, if you don’t have your wallet on you, then nobody else does.”

 

 Gabriel gaped at him for a second, unable to understand what he’d just said. “Are you telling me I’m stuck with you?”

 

 “No,” Sam said sadly. “It means  _ I’m  _ stuck with  _ you. _ ”

 

“Well, _fuck_.”

  
 It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! I lied, here's an update. My brain wasn't working with me when it came to any other shorter fics, and I already had a quarter of this chapter done, so I just finished it up. 
> 
> Guys, I cannot stress how much I love these two. Cranky Gabriel and Done With Your Shit Sam are the BEST to work with. I'm so happy that I finally have a fic where I can use exclamation marks without it looking stupid or out of place!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it! Song inspo is Dread In My Heart by Mother, Mother (it's actually a pretty cheery song, I swear on my life).
> 
> (https://youtu.be/gN6LajGcvt4)

You’d think that doing someone a favor by taking them to the hospital would get you some gratitude, not a knee to the balls.

 

 Okay, it had been accidental, but still. It was a  _ knee  _ to the  _ balls _ . Sam might want kids in the future, he couldn’t afford to have an annoying little shit going around kneeing him in the family jewels. 

 

“Put me down! I can walk by myself!”

 

 Sam had half a mind to drop the squirming mess of whiny asshat, but lucky for Gabriel, he was too nice to do that. Although, if he hadn’t grown up with Dean, that nutshot would have ended up with both of them on the floor. 

 

 “The hell you can. I’m not spending any more time out here than I have to, it’s fucking cold. So quit whining or else.”

 

“Or else what?”

 

 “Or else…” He hadn’t thought that far ahead. It was too late for this shit. “Or else I’ll throw you into a puddle.”

 

“There are no puddles around here.”

 

 “There’s a damn pond not too far from here, and if you don’t cooperate, I can and will toss you off the bridge and enjoy watching you drag your half-frozen ass to the hospital. Comprende?”

 

 The flailing stopped, Gabriel choosing to glare holes in Sam’s skull instead. “Yeah, I fuckin’ comprende. On to the hospital then, my not-so-noble steed!”

 

 He’d thought that the biggest pain in his ass was going to be Gabriel, but the world seemed hell-bent on making his life harder with each second that passed. 

 

 One thing he’d forgotten was the fact that hospitals needed to know how you were related to the patient, and if he was being honest, Sam didn’t want Gabriel alone. The guy had no idea who he was, and so far it seemed like Sam was the one who knew the most about him. He may have been a sarcastic pain in the ass, but that didn’t mean Sam was just going to ditch him. 

 

 “Hey, what are we going to tell them when they ask how we’re related?”

 

“Tell them you’re my butler.”  

 

 “Fuck off, I’m being serious here.”

 

“Who says I’m not?” Gabriel asked. “I don’t know, you come up with something.”

 

 “I could say we’re engaged.”

 

“What is this, While You Were Sleeping? Put me in a coma and dress like Sandra Bullock, then we’ll be set!”

 

 “Christ, can you not be serious for five seconds?” 

 

“Sure,” He held up one hand and started putting each of his fingers down. “One, two, three-”

 

 “Gabriel!”

 

“Fine, fine. Tell them we’re dating or some shit and make out with me in front of them to convince them.”

 

 “It’s called the waiting room, not the mating room.” Sam deadpanned. 

 

 Automatic doors were a fantastic development, and he’d never appreciated them more than he did at this moment, walking into urgent care with an armful of Gabriel. Waving at the woman sitting at the front desk, he called out to her.

 

 “Hey, I think my boyfriend broke his arm or something, his leg looks screwed up, and I think he has amnesia.”

 

“Sounds good,” She sounded bored, almost annoyed that they’d come in with more work for her. He wasn’t sure she’d even heard what he’d said. “The doctor’ll be out soon. There are chairs right behind you.” 

 

 Before he could take the chance to sit and rest for even five seconds, the doctor popped into the room. A cheery redhead flounced over, a legitimate smile on her face. Briefly, Sam wondered how she could look that happy in a room full of people with various  _ (and pretty damn bad)  _ issues going on.

 

“Come on back, I’m gonna check you out real fast!”

 

 “I think he’s going to need more than just a quick once-over.”

 

“Don’t tell him,” She leaned in close and stage whispered. “But I’m only saying that to make him feel better.”

 

“That’s reassuring.” Gabriel scoffed. 

 

“Alright, turn into this room right here and we’ll see what’s wrong with you!”

 

 “Besides everything, you mean?” Sam quipped.

 

“Fuck off, oh wonderful boyfriend of mine.” 

 

 At that, Sam plopped Gabriel down onto the exam table with no warning. The yelp that got him was music to his ears, though he thanked his lucky stars that it was more surprised than pained. A badly contained snort came from across the room, the doctor trying to keep her cool. 

 

“So you said there was something wrong with his arm?”

 

 “Looks like it. He won’t say shit about how he’s feeling, though. Maybe you’ll have better luck with him than I did.”

 

 The truth was that Sam really hadn’t bothered to ask, something he hadn’t realized up until then. That was most likely the first thing he should have done, instead of drawing conclusions without getting input from the person who was actually feeling the pain. 

 

“My arm’s definitely broken and I’m almost completely sure that I sprained my ankle. Also? I hit my head and I can’t remember jack shit.”

 

_ Way to be blunt.  _

 

“I think you’re right about the arm, but we’re going to take some x-rays anyway. The ankle sounds painful, but I’m more worried about the head. You said you can’t remember anything?”

 

“That’s exactly what I just said.” Gabriel said, obviously annoyed. “Here I was thinking that  _ I’m  _ the one with amnesia.”

 

 “Sorry,” He fought the urge to smack Gabriel upside the head as the doctor flushed pink. “He gets grumpy when he gets hurt.”

 

“No, he’s right. Sorry ‘bout that! Let’s take a look at your head, why don’t we?” 

 

 It didn’t take her long, and the fact that she frowned after looking him over made Sam fight the urge to groan. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with any more shit tonight. 

 

“The good news is that he doesn’t have a concussion!” The doctor said happily.

 

 “So what’s the bad news?”

 

“Yeah, about that,” She said nervously, twiddling her thumbs.”He has temporary amnesia.”

 

“I coulda told you that,” Gabriel grumbled to himself. 

 

 “Oh, cool,” Sam said, feigning a smile. “That’s awesome. What do we do about that?”

 

“Not much we can do but wait it out,” Gabriel let out a groan in the background, being the drama queen Sam had come to realize he was. “For now, let’s check on the rest of him and maybe you’ll even get to leave early!”

 

Two hours, a lot of bitching, several X-rays, a plaster cast, and a wheelchair later, they finally managed to get out of there. Sam wasn’t too sure he considered two hours meant leaving early, but it looked like that was the best he’d be getting. He could live with that.

 

 “I never though it’d be possible to find someone whinier than my brother.”

 

“I can’t believe they couldn’t just give me crutches! My ankle is sprained, I’m not a goddamn invalid!”

 

 “Try using your brain for five seconds, Gabriel,” Sam huffed. “Tell me, how would you use the crutches?”

 

“With my arms!”

 

 Sam stood and waited for it to dawn on him, and he couldn’t help but smirk at Gabriel’s face when he finally realized that he could not, in fact, use crutches with a cast on. He glowered at Sam, trying his hardest to glare holes through his skull. 

 

“Shut up.”

 

 “I didn’t say anything.”

 

“You were thinking it,” Gabriel said pointedly.

 

  “You have no proof of anything.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

 “Sure, I’ll just leave your amnesia-ridden ass right here. Have fun with the wheelchair!”

 

“You’re too nice to do that,” The little shit was so sure of himself.

 

 Unfortunately for Gabriel, Sam was not, in fact, too nice to do that. Even more unfortunately for Gabriel, they were on a bit of an incline, so Sam letting go of his wheelchair was probably an unpleasant experience.

 

“Sam? Sam, wait. Sam, I’m rolling back!” Gabriel desperately grabbed for Sam’s shirt, while he just took a step back and crossed his arms to watch the show. “Sam! SAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

 

 It wasn’t too steep, and there was a tree at the bottom to stop the wheelchair. Nevertheless, the impact was kind of hilarious. Dean did that to him once when he’d broken his leg, and he’d always wondered how he could have gotten any enjoyment out of watching that. Now, walking down to Gabriel, he understood perfectly. 

 

 “Whoops,” He shrugged, a shit eating grin spreading across his face. “I slipped.”

 

“The hell you did!” Gabriel spluttered angrily, trying  _ (and failing) _ to get himself away from the tree. “You could have hurt me!”

 

 “Yeah, I could have given you temporary amnesia. That sure would have sucked.”

 

“I hate you.”

 

 “Feeling’s mutual. Only problem is that we’re stuck with each other until you remember who the hell you are and how the hell you ended up here.”

 

“Oh, I hit a deer and went flying into a ditch. All I remember.”

 

 Gaping, Sam fought the urge to break his other arm. “Do you think that another hit to the fucking head would bring your memories back?”

 

“What? No! Why?”

 

 “You couldn’t have told me that earlier?” He exclaimed, trying his best not to make good on his promise and throw Gabriel into the pond. “Knowing that would have made this  _ so  _ much easier!”

 

“How was I supposed to know? I was walking to the nearest town and I get manhandled by a douchey cop for thinking I’m drunk! Not like I had a chance to explain myself over his complaining.”

 

 “You’re one to talk about complaining,” Sam snapped. Grabbing the wheelchair, he pushed it up to his car and practically threw Gabriel in, ignoring his whining. “I don’t blame Jody for passing you off to me. You’re cute, but annoying as hell. Remind me why I gave you my number?”

 

 Starting up the car, he peeled out of the parking lot, eager to get back home. Awkwardly putting on the seatbelt, Gabriel shrugged.

 

“I ‘unno. Maybe I had a better personality yesterday. The world may never know.”

 

 “Hopefully that damn personality makes a reappearance, and soon. I have a trip to go on tomorrow, and I’m sure as hell not cancelling it for  _ you _ .”

 

“Ooh, where are you going?”

 

 “None of your business, that’s where.”

 

“Wait, turn up here.”

 

 “Why?”

 

“Just turn!”

 

 He made a sharp left, immediately hitting the brakes, wondering why in the sweet fuck he’d listened to Gabriel. Thank any and every god in the heavens on high that there had been no cars coming, or they’d both be right back in the hospital.

 

 “Listen,” He growled. “I am tired. It is two in the goddamn morning. I want to go home, and I want to sleep. Explain to me in detail why exactly we’re going down a deserted road that leads to fucking nowhere.”

 

“My car is somewhere over there. If I have a wallet and money, I can get a hotel and be out of your hair.”

 

 “You’re in a wheelchair that you can’t even drive by yourself because of your arm, and you don’t even know your last name.”

 

 Gabriel winced. “Alright, you have a point. But! I might be able to call somebody else I know and  _ then  _ be out of your admittedly gorgeous hair!”

 

 It was too late for this. Or too early. How about both? The worst thing was that Sam was legitimately considering it. In the end, he hit the gas, forgetting about something as petty as speed limits. 

 

 “Now, you tell me  _ exactly _ where it is,  _ exactly  _ when we pass it or I’m throwing you back into that ditch you fell into.”

 

“I didn’t fall into it, I drove into it.”

 

 “Is that supposed to make it any better?”

 

“...Shut up,” Gabriel harrumphed. Seconds later, he grabbed Sam’s arm out of the blue, making the car swerve. He swore that he saw his life flash before his eyes. “There it is! Pull over to the side!”

 

 Sam had never pulled over so quickly, and had never regretted doing it just as quickly. The tires screamed along with them, barely staying on the edge of what led to a huge drop-off, the place where Gabriel had likely fallen. Adrenaline pumping, he slowly inched the car away from the ditch, back to safer ground. 

 

 Even with that, he wasn’t taking any chances. He ran over to Gabriel’s side and yanked him out of the car, surprised at the lack of protests. 

 

 “I’m thinking that this is where you went down.”

 

“Really?” Gabriel said flatly. “Wonder what gave it away. Was it the sight of the massive ditch or the near-death experience?”

 

 “You could have warned me earlier to avoid that!”

 

“I can’t remember shit, how the fuck was I supposed to know?”

 

 “Alright,” Sam said calmly, taking in a deep breath and mentally convincing himself that no, he did not want to go to jail for murder. “How about we just go down there, grab your shit, and go back to my house?” 

 

“Whatever, let’s go.”

 

 He didn’t bother asking if he could pick Gabriel up or not. There was no way they could use the wheelchair here, and he wasn’t at all willing to deal with the argument that was sure to come if he were to ask. 

 

 Carrying both himself AND Gabriel down the steep slope was more difficult than he’d originally expected. He never thought he’d say it, but Sam was thankful when Gabriel nudged him and asked to let him down. 

 

 Sam held him up, but being able to walk without the added weight on his back was a lot easier for him. 

 

 “Are we looking for anything specific?”

 

“Probably a wrecked car, seeing as that’s what I had to crawl out of.”

 

 “Try shining the flashlight on your phone around, we need some light.”

 

“Fantastic idea. Let me grab my phone that was lost in the wreckage to get us a flashlight. Sound good?”

 

 “Quit being a dick, Gabriel. It’s too late for this shit. My phone’s in my right pocket, the one you’re up against. Grab that for me and get us a damn light.”

 

A hand trailed up his thigh, going for his pocket and- 

 

 “Hey! Not my pocket, that’s not my damn pocket!”

 

“Whoops,” It was too dark to see shit, but Sam could  _ hear _ the cheshire cat grin on Gabriel’s face. “My mistake.”

 

 Sam dropped Gabriel with a  _ whump!  _ and an indignant cry when he hit the ground. Fishing around in his pocket, he got his hands on his phone. Crouching down, he felt around for Gabriel, looking for his arm. 

 

“Fuck you! I could have gotten hurt, you ass- AHH!” 

 

 Flicking on the way too bright flashlight on his phone in Gabriel’s eyes brought him a strange sense of satisfaction. “Time to keep looking! C’mon, get up. A little sprained ankle never hurt anyone.”

 

“Nobody but me, according to you. I swear, my leg is fucked, my arm is fucked, even my head is fucked, and you’re over here trying to make me go blind. When I get my memories back, I’m suing.”

 

 “This is the perfect place to hide a body, don’t you think?” Sam said pointedly. Gabriel paled, getting a laugh out of Sam as he hefted him up. “Quit whining and look for your stupid car.”

 

“Oh, there it is.”

 

 “Wait, what?”

 

“Right there,” He pointed to a space between two rocks. Sure enough, a smashed up car teetered precariously between the rocks, not really leaning one way or the other. 

 

 “The one that looks like it’s going to kill us?”

 

“That’s the one.”

 Wiping his face with one hand, Sam hissed in a frustrated breath. “What the hell do we do now?”

 

“We go check it out, duh.”

 

 “You’re kidding,” He gaped at Gabriel, disbelieving. “No. Hell no. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not suicidal. I am not dying the day before I get to see Italy.”

 

“Ooh, I’ve heard Italy is nice this time of year!”

 

 “That’s exactly why I’m going to see it without dying the night beforehand! I am not going up there.”

 

 He ended up going up there. 

 

 “How the hell did I get stuck with this job?” Sam was literally stuck between a rock in a hard place, desperately trying to keep himself from falling while making an attempt at opening the car door. “If I die, I’m haunting your ass until you die. Then I’ll haunt your family.”

 

“Dude, I don’t even know if I have family.”

 

 “I can still haunt you!”

 

 Sam had gone through everything but the glovebox and trunk. Mainly because the other doors had been more accessible, also because he didn’t want to tip the car over by messing with the trunk. 

 

 He was having issues with the door on the passenger’s side. It was dinged, or rather, crushed to the point where opening it was near impossible. 

 

 “I can’t get this one open, Gabe.”

 

“Aww, you gave me a nickname!” 

 

 “ _ Gabriel. _ ”

 

“Fine. Just smash the window with something.”

 

 “Can I use your head?”

 

“It’s fucked up enough as it is, find something else!”

 

 There was a rock. Of course there was a fucking rock, he was literally on a rock at that moment. The idea that there’d be smaller rocks wasn’t too far fetched

 

 “I found a rock.”

 

“Congrats, I’ll be sure to get you a medal.” Gabriel said drily. “Smash the damn window in with it, Sam!”

 

 It was a miracle that he didn’t get any glass in his eyes, or embedded in his hands. Even with the window broken, the door still wouldn’t open. So Sam did what any sane  _ (not really) _ human being would do. He crawled halfway in through the shattered window, praying that he wouldn’t end up slicing himself open and have his insides spilled out on the leather seats. 

 

 The glovebox was a win, an assload of important-looking papers stuffed inside. He didn’t bother reading through them, instead choosing to grab them all and get his ass out of there. 

 

 “I think I found some stuff.”

 

“Come down and we can look at ‘em.”

 

 “What about the trunk?”

 

“I’m pretty sure you need a key to open it. They’re kinda gone, but I don’t really know why.”

 

 “Maybe someone likes collecting keys to smushed cars?”

 

“Hilarious. Now get down here, I want to see who the hell I am.”

 

 Sam wasn’t sure how he’d managed to get up there and back without killing himself, but he sure as fuck wasn’t questioning it. He was pretty thankful that he’d made it without hurting himself and with all his memories fully intact. 

 

 “Can you still read?”

 

“Of course I can still read, you dick.”

 

 “You seemed pretty interested in my dick earlier,” He raised a brow at Gabriel.

 

“That’s different. I like dicks, but not personality dicks. Dick dicks.”

 

 “Dicks tend to have dick dicks too.”

 

“Well, I don’t like Dick dick dicks, alright?” Gabriel shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “That was confusing and I never want to mention that ever again.”

 

 “But according to you, I’m a dick and you looked pretty interested in my dick dick.”

 

“Moving on!” Gabriel snatched the papers out of Sam’s hands, covering his face with them to keep Sam from seeing his supernova-red face. His attempt failed miserably. 

 

 Sam waited for some sort of magical moment where all of Gabriel’s memories hit him like a bus and he could go home. It never came, in fact, the only moment that came was one where Gabriel furrowed his brow and threw the papers down. 

 

“Fuck!”

 

 “Whoa, what’s going on?” He picked everything up and set himself and Gabriel up on a rock to finally get a moment where they could sit. 

 

“Nothing! There’s nothing in there! No name, no numbers, no fucking anything!”

 

 He was right, Sam realized. The more he sifted through the papers, the more he realized how useless they were. Although, there were a lot of napkins from high-end hotels and restaurants with a  _ lot _ of  _ very _ detailed drawings of dicks. Just as he went to throw them to the ground like Gabriel had, an envelope slid out from what had looked like a packet detailing some sort of business meeting that had happened four months ago. 

 

 It was a simple white mailing envelope with the initials  _ G.N  _ on the front, exactly in the middle, written in the neatest handwriting he’d ever seen. 

 

“Are those my initials?”

 

 “I don’t know, maybe. It’s in your car, and your name is Gabriel, so I’m thinking that’s the G. my question is, what the hell does N stand for?”

 

“Fuck if I know, buddy.”

 

 “Do I open it or do you want to?”

 

 Without hesitation, Gabriel made grabby hands at it. Well, grabby  _ hand _ . “Gimme, I wanna see it.”

 

 “Are you sure a five year old should be opening someone else’s mail?”

 

“Give me the letter!”

 

 Laughing, Sam handed him the letter. Gabriel tore into it, thankfully managing to not  _ completely  _ maul the envelope itself. He pulled out what looked like three separate notes, face immediately covered in question marks and confusion.

 

“What the hell?”

 

 “What is it?” Sam leaned over to see.

 

“It’s an address, I think it’s a private airport or some shit.”

 

 “Why would you need an airport?”

  
“Well, that’s the thing,” Gabriel sounded genuinely baffled by this development and held up two airplane tickets. “According to this, I’m going to Italy tomorrow, and I get to take someone with me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love them so much. So. Damn. Much. Did I mention that I love them? Because I do.
> 
> This was so fun to write, their constant bitching at each other is my favorite thing! As for the While You Were Sleeping thing, if you haven't seen it, you should. Great movie. Also? Sandra Bullock. Everything's better with a little Sandra Bullock. 
> 
> This is going to be updating soooo inconsistently and I will never stop apologizing for it!! I have finals about to hit me like a freight train, so bear with me. I'm trying, promise!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!


	3. Bad But Good News!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got some news for the readers on the future of this fic!

  Hey, all!

  I've decided that I'll be making New Phone, Who Dis a series of a sort. Not exactly a series, but I'm about to post the prequel to it. The problem is that there are SO MANY inconsistencies because I never planned for this to be a thing. I'm gonna be real here, I had absolutely no idea what I was going to even do with this fic when I started it, I really started writing it because I found a funny picture and thought I could start writing something on it. BUT, I finally figured out a plot and what I want to do with it!! 

  So here's the deal: I'm going to be taking this fic down tomorrow, to give people a chance to read this little note so it's not completely out of the blue. I'll be reuploading it in chapters (yes, again!) once I finish it, which I hope to god won't take all that long. 

  I'm super duper sorry about this! I really hope you guys don't mind, I just want to make sure the plot actually exists and isn't a total mess. The changes I'll be making are going to be pretty important (characterization, several lines, hints at backstory, etc.), so just editing the chapters and leaving them as is isn't something I want to do because I really want the people who've already been following this fic to be able to experience the thing from the beginning. Does that make sense? I really hope that makes sense.

 

  Thank you guys for reading this, and I'm sorry again!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really excited for this one! I haven't finished any of my long WIPs yet, so I haven't been able to show you all a bunch of non angst-ridden Sam and Gabriel. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please comment feedback, it helps keep me motivated and helps me know what you guys do and don't like!
> 
> Follow me on Instagram at @archangelica_angelica or on tumblr at innersanctuaries if you want to get in touch or just to watch me shitpost!


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